#9 Teach Baby Sign Language

I am a HUGE fan of baby sign language! There are thousands of reasons for you to use sign language, but I will try to keep this brief and provide you with the top 10 reasons and/or attempt to persuade you to use baby sign language.

1. It will improve your child's IQ. Research has shown that babies who learned a second language are more intelligent. Personally, I have found that babies who used baby sign language speak earlier than other babies and learn colors earlier, too. Babies who use sign language learn that things have more than one label for things, so it is easier for them to label a color to things as well.
2. It will spare you countless headaches! Babies learn how to use their hands before they learn to control voice. If you teach sign language, your baby will be able to communicate with you and will not get as frustrated. Frustrated babies throw temper tantrums. If only it could cure them entirely! Trust me, it will decrease the number you would otherwise have.
3. Extra languages help, they do NOT hurt. If you speak a second language, use it, too. Even if you only use sign language through the age of 2, which most people do, it is going to help you and your child. People have an innate ability to learn multiple languages easily when young. There is nothing wrong with using 3 or 4 languages in your house, but please make sure that sign language is one of them!
4. Paying for classes is unnecessary! Baby sign language is becoming more popular and people are paying lots of money to learn sign language. If you go for the experience, have fun. However, the information is free and easy to find. My favorite place to get it is: here. or here. It has nice videos, although, the first one is not quite as user friendly as the second website. Some PBS channels have a show called Signing Time. It is designed for kids, but I learned a lot of signs on that show. Also, check your local library. My library has DVDs of the Signing Time episodes available for checkout. You can also check out YouTube videos where there are plenty of signing videos posted. In my area, the Meetup website even has a couple of groups that get together to practice signs, so check if your area has any groups.
   
5. Start now. You can start as early as birth. You can start as late as...well, even in adulthood, you can learn it, but it just gets harder after the teenage years. If you start at birth, you will already be in the habit when it matters. My first baby started signing at about 10 months old and my second started at about 12 months. I know that some babies start earlier, but I would not expect it to happen earlier than 6 months. Your baby will start when he/she is ready, because your baby is unique!
   
6. Do not give up. You do not have to use signs all the time and you do not have to do it correctly every time. Your baby will not start signing overnight, either. I tried using signs for about 3 months and then gave up. One month later, my baby started signing to me out of the blue. (I make mistakes, too!) The point is, that even after you think it is pointless to keep it up, it may just be one more month away!
7. You don't have to use the "correct" signs. If you want to be able to communicate with the deaf community, you probably want to use the American Sign Language version. It also helps if you are going to put your child in a preschool or Mother's Day Out program, so that the teachers know what signs are being used when your child is communicating. However, you can make up your own signs and your baby will never know the difference! Just use some gesture so you can communicate with your hands.
   
8. Start simply. Each "expert" will have different signs that they think you should start with. I would recommend starting with eat/food, drink, all done, hurt, and play. I also like potty, because I think it made potty training easier. I made sure to only sign it when I was certain that they were going potty. For example, when it was bathtime, if the baby went potty, I would sign it WHILE the potty was happening. It stuck, because later, I was told when they were going potty.
9. Why not? Could it really hurt your baby? There is so much research out there supporting me. You will feel so great when you are out in public and you understand what your baby wants. You will also be impressed when your baby is talking before all of your friends' babies. Even if your baby speaks after all the other babies, because every baby is unique, it will not hurt to use baby sign language.
10. It is exciting! I cannot express how exciting it will be the first time you realize your baby is communicating with you! Your baby will become a real person who is really able to express him/herself and you will feel so proud. Please, try using sign language!

Again, because every baby is unique, I would love to hear about your experiences with baby sign language. Until next time, when "babies cry to manipulate" is discussed.

#10 Your Child is Unique

As promised, here begins my in depth discussion for my first Top 10 list.

#10: Your child is unique.

So, to keep with the theme, I'll do a Top 6 about Item #10.

6. Do not parent your child because a book tells you to do it this way. It is one thing to have an expert understand the dynamic between you and your child. It is an entirely different thing to say you are parenting this way because the book you read said your child will benefit. Unfortunately, I am told too often which book is used to help parent a child! Do lots of reading, learn about development, even pick a few different approaches, but please do not let a book tell you how to raise your child. There is only one bible to follow, and it is not a book on parenting.

5. Be social; do not be dependent. It is a new world and a HUGE adjustment when you have a new child. Do not isolate yourself from the rest of the world or you will go crazy! Talk about your problems and laugh about your mistakes. The first trip outside the house will be terrifying! It was for me and I have no problem taking 40 preschoolers to Disneyland. Do not expect your spouse, significant other or relatives to understand how you are feeling. Do not expect your best friend to have the answer. Your life will forever be different, and you will need support from others, but do not expect others to have all the answers. You and your baby are unique.

4. Get out and spend time with other new moms. Moms groups are everywhere. Go to meetup.com and find a local mom's group. There are other mom's groups that you can find through La Leche League, MOMS Club, MOPS, and check with your local library. Some of the libraries do story times for infants. Personally, I do not like the web based moms groups. They are just places for people to give you advice without knowing the first thing about you and your child. It is nice to meet others and hear how they are unique, too. Web based discussion groups and/or mommy web pages are not the same!

3. Smile, say "thank you," and then do your own thing. If you are pregnant, you probably have people telling you how to eat; how much sleep you need; whether you are having a girl or boy; how pregnant you look or do not look. People like to help people. If they want to help when they see a big belly, imagine how much they will want to help when they see you holding a real live person. Advice is going to be free flowing. Some of it may be appreciated. You will also receive unwelcome advice. LOTS of it. Learn to laugh and enjoy it, but do what works for you and your baby. You are unique!

2. Before accepting advice, you are qualified to determine whether or not you feel they are qualified to provide the advice. Twitter and Facebook accounts are set up everyday. There is no guarantee that the account is the official account. There is no way to know that the childcare center you like is really going to be the best one for you child. Did you know that babies were not given pain medication until the 1980s, because researchers thought babies did not feel pain? Doctors - yes, experts - did not give any pain medication when performing heart surgery. You are the best expert and you have every right to question even the most respected experts. That includes doctors - and me!

1. Be flexible! Some people like to plan. Other like to let the day go the way that it goes. Either way, you are going to have to do some adjusting. Your baby may be the opposite of you! You will both adapt and learn to live together. Some babies will be so fussy if the routine is broken by 5 minutes. Other babies do well with changes. It has been my experience that babies tend to prefer schedules, and I believe that babies will be happier and develop into more well adjusted children when a consistent schedule can be kept. However, that does not mean you have to be strict in your scheduling. The first year is full of changes, too. Just when you think you know what your baby needs, he/she will change. Inconsistent naps become consistent, then naps decrease to two naps a day, and sometimes in the first year, he/she will even drop down to one. Change is the name of the game for the first year. Be ready for unpredictability!

Enjoy being the best expert!
Until next time, where Baby Signs will be discussed...

Top 10 for New Moms

If you are about to have a new baby, or have a newborn, here are the Top 10 things you should know:

10. You and your baby are unique. You will get lots of advice and probably do lots of reading. Please do not pick one approach or one book to use as your guide to parenting. Even if you do like one approach, your baby may not.

9. Teach baby sign language. Your baby will learn to control his/her hands long before voice is learned. Signs will spare many tantrums, many headaches, and research has shown that it improves IQ.

8. Babies can cry as a form of manipulation after 6 months. Being a mom, it is so hard to let my children cry, but there are times that I know it is in their best interest to let them cry. Prepare yourself for it. Learn the difference between the "I want" cry and the "I need" cry and you will have a more well-rounded child later.

7. Sleep is most likely going to be a battle for you. Sleep will be a commodity for you and your child will be uninterested in it. Get people's opinions, read books, but remember, your child is unique. Don't expect to find a magic solution to sleep concerns because a book said it works.

6. Consistency is good. Familiar faces are important. A good sleep schedule is good. But, again, remember your child is unique, and the degree of consistency that your child needs will vary. That being said, don't be afraid to be adventurous sometimes, too.

5. Baby food is deceptive! So much of the food offered in the baby aisle is just overpriced food from the rest of the store. Sugar, salt, and preservatives are still added. Don't pay extra for a baby label, pay extra for more nutrition!

4.You do not need to worry about education yet. You will want your child to be the next genius. We all do. Sing songs; get on the floor and play; read books and act like a fool; but PLEASE wait until after your child is two before you start worrying about turning your child into a genius. You will have 13 years of school to stress about education!

3. You will make mistakes. You will get frustrated. You will want to pull your hair out. Your child will still love you and will forgive you for the mistakes. Please remember to forgive them, too!

2. Have faith in yourself! There will be plenty of times when you will feel inadequate. Other moms will have such simple solutions to problems that have been driving you crazy for months. Experts tell us what we are doing wrong all the time. There is a learning curve to parenting, and you will ALWAYS be the most qualified expert when it comes to your child. No one can take that away from you!

1. Have fun! I was told this so often, and it was still not often enough. It will go by so quickly! You will want to pull your hair out sometimes. Everyone goes through it. But, before you know it, your child will be saying, "I can do it!" So enjoy the brief period when they need you to do it for them.

Each one of these will be detailed in blogs to follow! Come back to read more about each item and then find the next edition of the Top 10: Top 10 for Moms of Toddlers.

About Me

So, what gives me the right to tell you about parenting? I will be the first one to tell you that I do not have that right. I believe you are the best expert when it comes to parenting your child. That being said, I have a lot of experience and education and I want to share my passion with others.

I want to help you become the best expert you can be.

I could tell you my life story. I could list all of my qualifications. I could tell you about all of my job experiences. But where is the fun in that? The experiences, education, qualifications, and life story would be very long. I am not interested in writing a novel and I am sure you are not interested in reading one. Besides, I have seen qualified, experienced people working in the wrong field. You do not want to know how many teachers are working in classrooms right now, but hate children. I have seen too many people say they have 10 or more years experience in childcare, but act like it is their first interaction with a child. The point is, I am here for the children, not to tell you my life story.

If you really want to know, I will give you a quick summary. Feel free to skip this paragraph if you are uninterested.

I have a masters degree in early childhood education. I have taught in public and private schools. I have taught general education and special education. I have taught the rich and famous, and I have taught the inner city students. I have taught gymnastics, swimming, and cheerleading. I have worked in childcare both in the classroom and as the director. I have run programs for museums, tutoring companies, and churches. I have been part of a federal research grant, where I evaluated childcare centers throughout an entire state. I have volunteered with foster children. I am a mother to two beautiful children. I will one day be a mother to at least four more children, and while they will be born from another woman, they will be loved equally.

Most importantly, I am passionate about helping children, parents and our future. Children have always flocked to me, too. I understand children. Most of the time, at least. I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. I do want to help, though. I hope to help you become the best parent that your child needs.

When I was very little, maybe in fifth or sixth grade, I wrote a story. It was meant to be a mystery, and I was so proud of myself. I was devastated when the "who done it" part was figured out with the first paragraph by the first person who read my story. Why do I tell you about this? Because the twist in the story was that the sister was really the mother. I thought I had been so clever in my clues, because the "sister" in the story acted just like I acted with my baby sister. The "sister" said things I said to my baby sister, and acted like I acted to my baby sister. It was the first time I realized that not everyone is as passionate about children as I.

I recently went to a pool party. I had a great time at the party, and did not think anything out of the ordinary. I was later informed that the other parents at the pool party realized they had not been pestered for some time and began checking on their children. My husband told them that the children were all with me and my children. He laughed, because that is where the children can always be found.

I have so many stories about children, the funny things they say, the things I have done to help them. Let's just leave it at:

I am KID WHYS. I love helping children; I love learning from children; I hope I can help pass on my passion to you.
Enjoy.